The Return of Mumbo Pango
by Jessie Wings
Summary: Jess and Blanche are transported to Mystery Island, three weeks ago, where evil is thriving and an ancient evil god is planning a triumphant return. But who is helping him?
1. Mystery Island, At Night

Mystery Island is a beautiful, forest-covered tourist attraction near the equator in the Southern Hemisphere of Neopia. Its shores have been the scene of many a game of beach volleyball, it was responsible for the introduction of Kougras, Acaras and many other exotic species of Neopet to 'civilised' Neopia, and it even housed many a Maraquan reeling from the destruction of their city in year 3.

But Mystery Island – as the name might imply – has not always been such a friendly, tourist-attracting place. Merely five years ago, in year 2, the coconut island natives, unhappy with the planet and the way it was being run, kidnapped thirteen (relatively) innocent Neopets Team members, with plans to sacrifice them to the great god Mumbo Pango. Neopians interfered and politely requested that they not kill _all_ the team members. The savage coconut men obliged and killed eleven of them – and sent a twelfth over a waterfall. Luckily for Neopia, the dead staff members were mysteriously brought back to life.

But where are these coconut men now? Are they still practising their tribal, sacrificing traditions? Why don't we hear about them?

Can anyone learn the truth about these nutty, Neopets-Team-member-killing island natives?

* * *

Jess prided herself on her tendency to do completely insane things. Right now, she was engaged in an incredibly long glaring match with her silver bracelet.

Jess didn't like the bracelet, and for a very good reason. Five weeks ago, in an attempt to prevent Sloth – or rather, who she thought was Sloth, because it turned out to be an android – taking over Neopia, Jess had changed history. Because generally weird time-watching aliens don't like it when you change history, Jess had gone to a trial in something called a telepathic plane. The time-watching aliens had decided that since she had changed history for good and not for evil, she should have the opportunity to fight for it.

...so they gave her the bracelet. That had seemed like a rather nice gesture at the time, but Jess soon realised – through experience – that it was irremovable. Neither Fyora, Illusen nor Jhudora could, to their embarrassment, remove the dratted thing, and as Jess had gone through several other unlikely options – Taelia, the Negg Faerie, the Library Faerie, the Soup Faerie, the Faeries in charge of the Faerie Food and Faerie Furniture shops and even the statue of the Dark Faerie in the ruins of Old Maraqua – she had pretty much given up hope.

So she turned to glaring at it.

And then it did a very strange thing. It started to change colour. Jess stared in awe at the suddenly red, shiny metal bracelet.

"You're not supposed to change colour," she told it, feeling quite ridiculous.

In response, the bracelet changed colour another time – to yellow.

"Not another time!" she declared, fleeing the kitchen – though what that achieved, she had no idea. She then ran into the second lounge room, where a Faerie Uni was relaxing and reading a nice, six-hundred-page novel. "Blanche! My bracelet is changing colour!"

The Faerie Uni got off her incredibly comfy beanbag to examine the bracelet that had not two minutes ago been silver.

"It's yellow," she commented. As if to prove her wrong, the bracelet then proceeded to turn a blinding, neon green.

And the house disappeared.

Suddenly, Jess and Blanche were standing right in the middle of a thick forest, no civilisation in sight. The two girls looked around curiously at the place. Then they examined Jess's bracelet, which had reverted to its usual colour.

"That is very, very strange," Jess commented. "Exceedingly strange. Mind-bogglingly strange."

"Indeed," Blanche agreed. "I'd say... Mystery Island? At night?"

"Oh, undoubtedly," Jess coughed, not quite giving the impression of having known that previously. "More importantly, _why_ are we on Mystery Island at night? It'll be ages before the first boat back to Neopia Central..."

"It can't possibly be more than nine hours," Blanche pointed out.

"Great, Blanche. That's really comforting. What are we going to do? _Where are we going to stay?_"

"Oi, mum. Let's think about this _calmly_ and _ratio_ -"

"Fine," Jess said indignantly. "You go first."

"Well," Blanche said, "I believe that bracelet had something to do with it."

"_Of course!_" Jess exclaimed triumphantly. "I know exactly what happened!"

"What?"

"The bracelet had something to do with it!" After a playful grin, she went on. "No, no, really. When Kayandri -"

"Who's Kayandri?"

"Would it kill you to pay attention? _For once?_"

"I _do_, mum, and you've never mentioned a Kayandri before."

"Not _a_ Kayandri," Jess rolled her eyes. "_The_ Kayandri. Or at least, I imagine it's the Kayandri... it's not a very common name..."

"_The_ Kayandri?" a nonplussed Blanche inquired.

"No, _not the Kayandri_," Jess rolled her eyes again. "Seriously Blanche, who do you think Kayandri is, an alien race? A god?"

"I've no idea," Blanche remarked acidly. "You've never told me."

"Oh." Jess grinned. "That would explain it, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," Blanche glared. "It would."

"Mm." Jess nodded. "Now, when Kayandri gave me the -"

"You still haven't answered the question," Blanche pointed out. "_Who's Kayandri?_"

"Just let me go on, will you? Anyway. When Kayandri gave me the bracelet, it was after telling me that I changed history for good, and that by doing that I proved myself to be a determined sort of... person that fights for good. He gave me the bracelet so I could fight for good more often."

"What does it _do?_" Blanche asked.

"It... sort of... um... I think it's supposed to summon me to trouble..."

"You? Why am _I_ here?"

Jess shrugged. "Maybe you were too close to the bracelet?" she suggested warily. "Now, since it's supposed to summon me to trouble, let's take a look around, eh?"

Blanche did not look wholly happy with that situation, but – relentlessly grumbling all the way – she agreed.


	2. Jhuidah's Promise

Jhuidah – the Faerie guardian of Mystery Island sensibly also known as the Island Faerie – was currently engaged in a long and meaningful discussion. Well, not long, really. But meaningful, certainly. And important. Very important.

She was kneeling before a smallish sort of fire, rocking backwards and forwards feverishly, chanting a strange sort of – well, _islandy_ – song that had no ending. As Island Faerie, Jhuidah had to take on all traditions – or, at least, most of them – of the Cocos, Mystery Island's native coconut people. This involved casting spells and putting herself in trances.

From Jhuidah's point of view, of course, she was chatting – or rather, being chatted to – quite nicely enough by the great god of Mystery Island himself, Pango Pango...

"Jhuidah," the unseen voice bellowed.

"Pango," Jhuidah whispered. "You have called to me. Speak."

"I sense evil," Pango boomed, "scheming on our small island."

"Evil?" Jhuidah asked fearfully.

"Yes," Pango answered. "Evil."

Unperturbed by the fact that this conversation was getting nowhere, Jhuidah asked another question. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes."

"What? Tell me, please... what?"

"You will find the bringer of the evil in the form of two persons – one is human."

"And the other? What is the other?"

"My senses do not say." Pango paused before continuing. "You must hand the two culprits over to Coco natives. They will know what to do."

Had Jhuidah been in the mood to be impertinent to a god, she would have mentioned that she followed the same traditions and religious activities as the mute, though telepathic, and seemingly entirely male Cocos – however, Jhuidah was not quite that daring. Scolding a god for his decisions was like telling Fyora she had a bad hair day. It was not done, and if it was, you usually suffered incredible punishments – like being banished from Faerie City.

"You are not thinking pure thoughts," the Coco god scolded her thoughts – as he too was telepathic. "I do not believe you would be capable of my task. That is why I ask you to give them to the Cocos."

"Capable?" Jhuidah asked. "I am capable of anything those Cocos are! I swear it, Pango!"

"Very well," Pango said gravely. "You are to capture them both and restrain them. Then you are to take them to the Temple of Pango."

"What there?" Jhuidah pressed. "I can do it, Pango, I can... I will! I promise!"

"Very well. You are to first summon the twelve Coco High Priests, and then bind the human to the sacrificial stone. All twelve must then telepathically chant the Song of Death and once they are done, a dagger must be driven through their heart. While they are conscious."

Feminism had no place in primitive societies that still practised sacrifice, Jhuidah decided.

"You gave me your word, Jhuidah. Twice."

Jhuidah smiled weakly. "I did, didn't I." She bit her lip, took a deep breath and asked, "what of the other? What must happen then?"

"The human's body is to be carried on a bamboo plank by six Coco Lower Priests to the volcano. They must be precisely north of the place. As for the other evil-doer, they must be bound as well to the stone and killed in exactly the same way. They shall be placed next to the human, the two bamboo planks touching. The other is to be on the human's right."

Jhuidah nodded miserably. "How will I know if they're the right one?"

"Precisely fifteen minutes after the other is killed – if both are killed according to my instructions – the volcano will erupt. Both will be trapped under molten lava, and all trace of their existence will be gone."

"With all due respect, Pango, how can I tell if they're the right evil-doers before killing them?" Jhuidah enquired. "Needless death is a sin."

"They will be examining your Cooking Pot between the third and fourth hours of the morning," Pango intoned.

"But Pango, what if more than one pair inspect the Cooking Pot? What do I do then?"

"There will be only one pair," Pango told the Faerie in an unrelenting grave tone. "Now be gone, foreign one. Carry out your task."

Feeling considerably sick in the stomach now, Jhuidah concentrated her mind on returning to reality, upon which she broke off the chant and stood up. Examining the position of the moon in the sky, Jhuidah realised it must be three – or later! She had better hurry.

* * *

"Look!" Jess exclaimed excitedly. "It's the Cooking Pot!" She ran up to the large green pot, certainly large enough to accommodate her – and with a human skull lying ominously beside it.

Blanche stared at the overexcited Jess. "Mum," she said warningly, "you forgot about Jhuidah."

Jess, remembering the pretty Island Faerie, hit her own head. "Of course!" she exclaimed, no less overexcited. "Maybe _she_ can remove my bracelet!"

Blanche rolled her eyes. "Mum, she isn't here."

"She should be here," Jess argued.

"Yeah, well, she isn't."

Casting a glance out across the area, Jess had to concede that Blanche was right. "Maybe I can melt my bracelet in the..." She paused for thought. "No, maybe not. I'll burn my hand."

Jhuidah, hidden completely in the dark trees, was absolutely horrified. A _girl!_ If it had been a man, perhaps, or a male teenager, that could have been vaguely manageable. But a girl! Short, and barely teenage if she was, indeed, that old – what had Pango been thinking?

Jhuidah turned to look at the drugged darts she held in her left hand. Not poisoned – that would make the murder useless – drugged with a weak sleeping mixture, one which would knock the girl out for about half an hour. The Faerie Uni that accompanied the girl – a Faerie! - would be out for much less due to the amazing Faerie adaptability, and Jhuidah'd be lucky if she were asleep for ten minutes.

In future, the Island Faerie decided she would stop being so defensive and stop promising things so quickly. But it was a bit late now.

She carefully transferred one of the darts to her right hand, aiming it carefully at the Faerie Uni. She got a colossal amount of willpower together to stop her arm trembling, and then let loose.

"Ow!" Blanche yelled, whipping her head around to stare at her shoulder. "_Someone fired an arrow at me!_"

"I'll get it out!" Jess chirped in an inappropriately cheerful voice. Before her arm ever made it to Blanche's shoulder, her right arm was pierced by a similar dart. "_OW!_" She began to hop from one foot to another in anger, before tripping over her own leg and tumbling to the ground. "I'm... tired..." On that note, her head fell to the ground and hit a particularly large rock on the way.

Blanche stared at her owner in confusion before being on the receiving end of a similar wave of tiredness. She, too, collapsed to the ground.

Jhuidah took a deep breath. Well, they fitted Pango's description. It was three-fifteen.


	3. Two Knights In Shining Armour

Three-thirty.

"Yo, dude... what are we here for again?"

A human boy – about seventeen by the looks of him – stared at his Blue Kacheek mate exasperatedly.

"We're here," he said through gritted teeth, "to mix a concoction for Mumbo."

"Oh, right," the Kacheek nodded. "Thanks, dude."

Jhuidah, having summoned the Cocos and guarding her hut and waiting in a panicked sort of way, noticed the boy and his Kacheek opening a sack of ingredients.

Strolling over quickly, she hissed, "what are you doing here?"

The boy affectionately labelled 'dude' by the Kacheek smiled charmingly. "I'm gravely sorry, dear woman," he said, catching the faerie off-guard and kissing her hand. "Is insomnia a common condition on this planet?"

"Quite common," Jhuidah replied as stiffly as she could manage. "You must go now."

"Ah," the dude smiled again and waggled a finger at the considerably shorter Island Faerie. "This will only take a moment, my dear... oh, I'm sorry. What is your name?"

"Jhuidah," Jhuidah replied.

"What a charming name! Don't you think it's a charming name, Bob?" The Kacheek nodded adamantly. "My name's Steve – and I like your name considerably." Pausing for effect, he went on, "in fact, I have decided I shall name my first daughter after you. If you don't mind, of course."

"Won't you have to ask your partner?" Jhuidah asked. "Though I'm flattered, of course."

"Flattered? You must have thousands of men deciding to name their daughters after you every day."

"Not really, no."

"Oh. What a shame," Steve sighed. "It's ridiculous the way males refuse to express their emotions, isn't it? Quite immature."

Jhuidah smiled at the utterly charming young man. "I quite agree. Now – and I very much apologise – I have other things to attend to. Please step away from the pot."

"But... but..." Steve began to protest. "It won't take long, I swear. And you are _such_ a charming woman!"

Jhuidah sighed in defeat. "All right," she agreed reluctantly. "You clear off the moment you're done, though, okay?"

Steve nodded. "I wouldn't dream of anything else, Jhuidah," he agreed.

Jhuidah smiled and strolled away briskly back to the hut, where Jess and Blanche were still waiting to be taken to the Temple of Pango.

"Hey, Bob," Steve hissed as soon as Jhuidah was out of earshot. "Did you see what Jhuidah had in her hut?"

Bob stood up proudly. "Yes," he replied. "A human girl and a Faerie Uni."

"Well done, Bob!" Steve hissed sarcastically. "You've mastered the gift of sight! Now, here's a real challenge for you: why are they there?"

"Ummm..." Bob thought hard. "I give up."

"See, you haven't quite mastered thinking yet, have you?" Steve sighed impatiently. "They're _sacrifices_."

"Sacrifices...?"

"Jeez, you're not at the top of your game today, are you? Look, maybe they can help us."

"How?" Bob asked.

"If they want to sacrifice those two to Pango, naturally they'll be immensely relieved when two knights in shining armour come to save them, won't they?"

Bob considered this statement. "Where are you going to get the knights?"

* * *

Jess opened her eyes to find that her arms were roughly tied under a large, uncomfortable rock, and that she couldn't, no matter what subtle approach she tried, get off it.

Jhuidah had been nervously expecting the girl to wake for some time, but the knock on the head had obviously given the drug an added edge: it was now nearly dawn. Not that you could see that from the underground Temple of Pango.

"You wake," she said in as dispassionate a voice as she could wrangle – and she hated herself for it.

"Jhuidah!" Jess exclaimed. "Can you get me off this rock? And while you're at it, could you remove the bracelet from my right wrist? I can't and I think it'll keep transporting me to places..." Jess halted as she realised that Jhuidah was holding a knife by her side. "Why are you holding a knife?"

Jhuidah swallowed. Curse that confounded Pango. "You are evil," she explained.

"Evil?" Jess demanded. "I'm not evil, silly – and even if I was, how would you know? It's not like you have a large evil detector... or even a small evil detector, I imagine that would do the job quite nicely, too."

Jhuidah nodded at the circle of Cocos which surrounded them instead of replying to the furious girl. To Jess, it looked only like they were dancing crazily – particularly two that looked like they were trying to do star jumps at the same time – but to Jhuidah, attuned to Pango's mind, she heard the ancient Song of Death. She raised the knife high above Jess, agonising about what she was going to do.

"Oh, God," Jess muttered, not endearing her to the Cocos – the ten genuine ones of which were even more convinced of the girl's evilness because she would die with blasphemy on her lips.

It was at that point one of the star jumping Cocos cracked his outer shell to reveal a human being. (The other star jumping Coco fell over and started rolling around helplessly.) The ten remaining Cocos, unperturbed, continued their telepathic chant, while Jhuidah's dilemma prevented her from noticing that her victim was being dragged away by someone who had been masquerading as a star jumping Coco seconds before.

Jess let herself be carried away by the teenager, disturbed that her Faerie Uni was not in the room.

It was then Jess heard Jhuidah's shriek of panic as, the Cocos' song having ended, she found herself only chipping the stone.

Jess continued to be carried, all the way to an even deeper underground lair, where the teenager finally set her down.

"Are you all right?" he asked concernedly. Jess nodded.

"I'm Steve," the teenager went on. "What's your name?"

"Jess," Jess replied. "Have you seen a Faerie Uni anywhere? She's blue... has pink wings, white mane, roughly two feet, two inches tall... answers to the name Blanche..."

"Don't fret," Steve smiled patronisingly – though he didn't quite realise it. "The Cocos are methodical. They won't let Jhuidah sacrifice Blanche until they've sacrificed you."

"So... Blanche is safe?"

"Oh, from being sacrificed. She could still starve."

"I'm so glad I asked that question."

"So, let's see," Steve said, trying to make conversation. "You've got a charming bracelet there."

Jess glanced at the silver thing. "I hate it."

"Then why do you wear it?"

"I can't get it off," Jess replied. "I've asked _everyone_. Fyora, Jhudora, Illusen, Taelia..."

"Has it ever occurred to you to ask a god?" Steve asked. Jess laughed before realising he was serious.

"No, I'm atheist," was Jess's reply.

"Aren't you a little too young to make decisions like that?"

Jess stared at him. "Well, I don't know who's better equipped at making the decision for me."

"What, you mean apart from a god?"

"I can't speak to God," Jess argued. "How's he meant to decide if we can't have a reasonable conversation? I'd just feel ridiculous."

"I didn't say God. I said _a_ god."

"Well, that's hardly better, is it?" was Jess's heated reply. "Who is this god of yours then?"

"That wouldn't do any good now, would it?" Steve teased. "Come with me." Jess refused to get up. "Come on. Who saved your life?"

"As I recall," Jess replied, "I've saved my own life several times. And saving my life doesn't mean you can just drag me wherever, you know. I have commitments!"

"Oh yeah? You were wandering around Mystery Island at three in the morning! Do you even know what the date is?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Easy. August the twenty-seventh."

Steve laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. It's the twentieth!"

"The twentieth?" Jess asked. "That can't be..." She glared at the bracelet as if it was its fault – which it was, in a way. "_You said you wouldn't time travel me!_"

Steve was unsure what to make of this remark, and decided to pass a few seconds of time glancing around to see exactly where in the room Bob was. Only he wasn't in the room at all.

"Where is he?" he muttered, forgetting about Jess nearly completely.

"Who?" Jess asked, having not forgotten about herself.

Steve looked at the girl. "A friend," he answered non-committally.

"What's their name?" Jess pressed.

"That's not important," Steve dismissed Jess's question. "Look, I have a plan. You stay here and wait, I'll go out to look for my friend and your pet. How does that sound?"

"Terrible," Jess declared adamantly. "Why do I have to be left here? Sexism? Ageism? Blue-eyes-ism?"

"You're just a girl," Steve told Jess irritably.

"Well, that narrows it down!" Jess fumed. "So it's not blue-eyes-ism! Big whoop!"

"How old are you?" Steve asked. "And keep your voice down."

Jess glared at the teenager. "So it was ageism."

"You're only a kid!" Steve exclaimed, surprisingly quietly for an exclamation.

Jess was incensed. "What does age mean?" she asked angrily – and loudly. "Isn't it just a number? Isn't it?"

"Of course not! They have legal ages for lots of things. Driving, drinking, voting..."

Jess rolled her eyes. "None of them apply here! No cars, no alcohol – well, barely any – and I certainly can't recall the last time there was an election!" She paused and took a deep breath. "Besides which, if you're as old as you look, you can't drive, drink or vote, either."

"I can drive," Steve said obstinately.

"Not where I'm from," Jess retorted.

Steve stomped a foot on the ground in frustration. "You don't understand," he protested. "It's dangerous. Not only are you a kid, Pango Pango wants you as a sacrifice!"

"No, he doesn't," Jess replied, "he wants an evil person as a sacrifice."

"Do you think that matters to him?" Steve demanded. "He wants blood. Who or what doesn't matter."

"Then I should be very worried for my Uni," Jess smiled, her wave of anger suddenly having given way to laughter. Since laughing wasn't exactly smart in these situations, she settled for grinning stupidly. Especially stupidly considering what she'd just said.

"Every minute you sit there arguing with me, the more danger your precious Uni is in," Steve announced solemnly. "If you'd just give in, this whole situation would be resolved a great deal faster."

Jess sighed in defeat. "Fine," she agreed, sounding very, very resigned and not at all happy with the deal. "You go. I'll wait."

"Good," Steve remarked, smiling and turning towards the door before disappearing through it.

"Wait my foot," Jess told herself defiantly before leaving the hot room herself.


	4. Far Better Equipped

Jhuidah was back in her trance, blubbering like a baby to a still-unseen god.

"I'm very, very sorry," Jhuidah said. "It won't happen again, I swear... I didn't mean for the girl to get away... really, I..."

"_Girl?_" came a furious voice.

"Ye – yes," Jhuidah replied hesitantly. After waiting a second, she continued. "Apart from the fact I let her get away, is there anything wrong, Pango?"

"Yes," Pango answered calmly – but still plainly angrily. "I cannot believe that you misinterpreted my instructions."

"Misinterpreted?" Jhuidah repeated. "What did I do wrong, Pango?"

"My instructions were quite clear," Pango told the trembling Faerie. "Between the hours of three and four, one pair of human and pet would approach your Cooking Pot, Jhuidah. And yet, despite the fact that there was only one pair, you took the wrong one!"

"I apologise, Pango," Jhuidah stumbled, "but you are mistaken. At three-fifteen, I saw a girl and her Uni. At three-thirty, I saw a young man and his Kacheek."

"The girl was not there."

Jhuidah tried her best not to bristle. "Yes, she was," Jhuidah protested.

"She was not," insisted Pango.

"Yes she was, Pango – I saw her! Felt her! Restrained her! Drugged her! She was as real as I am!" Jhuidah wondered if Pango was being obtuse just to annoy her.

"Do you doubt my vision?" the invisible god asked the Faerie levelly.

Jhuidah swallowed. "No, Pango. I apologise. You are right. The girl is not there."

Jhuidah heard Pango laugh. "Of course she's there, foolish one! You have every reason to doubt my vision. Just because I am a god, does not mean I am right all the time."

Now Jhuidah was _sure_ Pango was being deliberately obtuse.

"Pango!" Jhuidah yelled.

"I am not the only one who resolves evil," Pango explained. "I have heard stories of powerful beings..."

"Other gods?" Jhuidah whispered.

"No," Pango replied. "Aliens to you. Beings from other planets. They monitor the universe and when something goes wrong on a large enough scale, it is they who fix it."

"So..." Jhuidah paused to consider. "So both they _and_ you tried to dispose of the evil?" she asked. "And on a large enough scale... how evil are the evil ones?"

"I do not know," Pango admitted. "I can sense evil, I cannot sense its quantity."

"What do I do?" Jhuidah asked. "I have ten Coco High Priests waiting for me, and one rolling around on the floor. I still have the Uni in captivity."

"Release the Uni," Pango told her. "Send the Priests away. Do not fight the evil. If those who watch have sent someone, they are better equipped than I to deal with the situation."

"Better equipped than a god?" Jhuidah asked.

"Far better equipped than a god," said the disembodied voice. "Go now, Jhuidah. Remember all I have said."

* * *

Better equipped was hardly what Jess considered herself, after finding – to her immense annoyance – that her irremovable bracelet was supremely useless at breaking Blanche's manacles.

"I wish I had a thingamabob," Jess told Blanche while busily hitting her wrist against the chain.

"What kind of thingamabob?" Blanche asked languidly.

"One that would cut through metal," Jess replied. "Even the metal of my indestructible bracelet."

"So, sort of like a super metal cutter?"

"Mm," Jess agreed. "This is useless. Without a key..."

Both girls heard a slight cough in the doorway. They turned their heads to see an apologetic Island Faerie. Jess ignored the apologetic part.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jess demanded of the short Faerie.

"I, uh... have the key," Jhuidah mumbled, holding it out to Jess. Suspiciously, Jess took it.

"I'm truly sorry," Jhuidah apologised. "It was a misunderstanding."

"Pretty major misunderstanding," Jess chided. "I mean, how close was I to losing my life, eh?"

"I am sorry," Jhuidah repeated. "Pango said there was evil in this land, and it just so happened there were two pairs fitting his description."

"Oh, and that makes it all better," Jess retorted, as well as using the key to free Blanche.

"You were sent here to expel the evil," Jhuidah felt as though she was stating the obvious.

"I thought it was Kayandri's idea of a good joke," Jess said sarcastically. "Yes, thank you Jhuidah, I knew that."

"Oh," Jhuidah said, deciding against reminding Jess who that was. "Good luck, then."

Jess waited until Jhuidah was gone before releasing the rest of Blanche's restraints. "Idiot."

"I don't think that's entirely fair," Blanche told her owner, standing up. "As the Island Faerie, I imagine Jhuidah is obligated to believe in Pango."

"That doesn't make it any more excusable!" Jess announced sharply. "_She nearly sacrificed me!_"

"Due to no fault of her own."

"Murder is _always_ a fault of your own," Jess said. "Having a religion which permits it is no excuse!"

"You weren't listening, were you?" Blanche asked. "She was asked to sacrifice evil."

"I know that."

"And she just told us that you have to now."

"I was listening, you know, Blanche," Jess reprimanded her Uni.

"Could have fooled me," Blanche remarked acidly. After a reproving glare, Blanche continued with, "I just think we need to hurry up and expel that evil!"

"But I don't know who the evil person _is_."

"Well, let's hurry up and find out!" Blanche ordered.

"Fine!" Jess yelled her reply. "After dinner."

"_Dinner?_"

"It might be breakfast time, but I didn't have dinner before being transported here, you know."

"Fine. _Dinner_."

* * *

Every Coco had left the temple save one, rolling helplessly on the floor.

"_Bob!_" Steve yelled at the rolling Coco. "What are you doing in that coconut costume?"

"Uhh..." Bob thought. "You asked me to get in here, dude."

"Yes, but Bob, you were meant to get out of there ages ago!"

"I would've," Bob protested, "but the suit wouldn't break!"

Steve tapped the shell sharply, frowning when it didn't crack. He then kicked the helpless Coco lookalike – and the shell then split apart with such force that Bob was thrown a metre away.

"Get up, Bob," he snapped. "We have work to do."

"But dude..."

"No buts, Bob. I'm going to join Jess and her Uni."

Bob wasn't overly pleased with that plan. "Why?"

"Have you ever heard of the saying 'keep your friends close, and your enemies closer'?" Steve grinned mischievously.

"No..."

"Well, now you have, Bob. And that is _precisely_ what I'm going to do."

"Okay."

Steve stared at the Kacheek. "Aren't you remotely interested in what _you're_ going to do?"

"Should I be?" Bob asked blankly.


	5. The Tropical Food Shop

"Jess! Hey, Jess!"

Jess looked around the Tropical Food shop where she and Blanche were peacefully eating some tropical fruit to see Steve.

"Steve," she remarked, somewhat coolly. "Where's your friend?"

"Friend?" a puzzled Steve enquired.

"You wouldn't tell me their name," Jess said.

"Oh, that friend," Steve smiled. "He was tired and went home. It was a rather silly time to be awake, wasn't it?"

"I suppose," Jess admitted. "So why are you here, you ageist person?"

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically. "I was just dying to have some more of your company."

Jess laughed. "I hope not. Ridiculous way to die."

"Mum," Blanche pressed, "who is he?"

"This incredibly ageist person saved my life," Jess explained. "He then, of course, proceeded to tell me to wait while he went to find you!"

"Well, I was successful, wasn't I?" Steve said, unaware that Jess had ignored his instruction.

"I suppose," Jess lied, attracting a look of confusion from her Uni. "Well, you might want to sit down, Steve. I've never been one to enjoy standing around all day."

Steve smiled. "Charming, you are," he told the girl. "I save your life and you repay me by being rude, arguing, doubting my instructions..."

"Sounds like another Smith we all know and love," Blanche observed dryly.

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?" Jess queried.

"That rather depends on if you think I'm implying what I am implying," Blanche replied unhelpfully.

"_I am not like -_"

"Now you're just _proving_ it, mum."

"- _aussiejewel!_" Jess finished adamantly.

Blanche rolled her eyes. "You weren't thinking I was thinking the right implication."

Jess covered her face with her hands. "Why do you have to use long words and arrange them in complicated ways all the time?" she moaned.

"What, implication?" Blanche asked. "That isn't a long word."

"You arranged the words in a complicated way," Jess informed her Uni. She then uncovered her face with her hands. "So, Steve," she said suddenly. "What do you feel like doing this morning?"

Steve made a show of thinking long and hard. "Were you around Neopia at that time when Pango abducted thirteen staff members?"

Jess grinned. "No," she admitted, "but I've always regretted not being there."

"Do you know much about the thing?" Steve asked the girl. Jess shrugged.

"A little," she admitted. "Do they still have the statue up?"

"Nah, they took it down ages ago."

"Pity," Jess remarked. "To survive all that time, I rather thought Donna deserved her statue."

Steve laughed. "They might have taken down the statue, but they still have footage of the sacrifices. And, for those too queasy, a summary of events."

"That should interest you, Blanche," Jess pointed out.

"It doesn't," Blanche replied.

"Oh, come on, Blanche," Jess chided. "Avid historian you turned out to be!"

"Mum," Blanche said, "do you know how stupid it is to go with a complete stranger to _Sacrificers_?"

"A complete stranger who saved my life," Jess remarked cheerfully.

Hands respectfully held behind his back, Steve stood up and gave the Faerie Uni a slight bow. "I promise never to harm you. Either of you."

"There, see?" Jess grinned. "Perfectly safe."

"Doubt it. Things are _never_ perfectly safe until these sorts of things end."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Come on, Blanche." With that, she and Steve walked ahead. Blanche figured they'd come back for her eventually, but they didn't, and when they disappeared right out of eye shot, a grumbling Blanche got off her chair and tried to go where she thought Jess and Steve had gone.

* * *

In a large, dark, stone underground structure, torches were the only source of light. It wasn't a very reliable source of light thanks to the flickering fire – and it certainly wasn't incredibly safe – but for an outpost of Mumbo Pango's following, it would do.

Bob stared at the two chairs he'd set up, which looked uncannily like Doctor Sloth's dentists' chairs he was so overly fond of using – however, Bob's chairs were cream instead of green.

Suspended above the chairs by a mass of thick cables was a helmet. This helmet itself looked like a mass of thick cables, but hidden under the bright red and blue wires was solid metal.

It was not, in fact, quite metal: due to a process not quite understood by anyone within twenty light years of Neopia, it was the equivalent of a computer programmer, but to living things instead of computers. Rather luckily for intended victims, it was not painful in the slightest – though it was supposed to temporarily make people quite light-headed. No one really knew, however – certainly no one had ever felt the need to tell them.

Suddenly Bob had a thought – which was a very rare occurrence, since Bob wasn't known for thinking.

_What if it doesn't work?_ Bob thought suddenly. _Mumbo Pango wouldn't be very happy with me._

Bob wondered how he could test if the set-up actually worked. For quite a while. Then he thought of something.

"I can test it on myself!" Bob cried triumphantly. He headed smugly towards the soft, cream chair and pulled the helmet down over his head.

"Now... uhh..." Bob tried to look around. "I can't reach the lever." He then pulled the helmet off his head and hopped off the chair, running towards a control panel nearby. He pulled down a large red lever, and blinking blue lights started circling the room.

"Now I'm not under the helmet!" Bob realised, quickly jerking the lever the other way. The blue lights faded and again the room was lit only by flickering torches.

"How can I tell if it works or not?" Bob asked himself. "I know! I'll ask the dude!"

Bob ran towards the gaping hole in the wall that constituted an entrance. "But wait... the dude said I was under no circumstances to leave the room." Bob looked up blankly. "I wonder what circumstances means."

* * *

Blanche glared at Jess and Steve as Jess laughed for the umpteenth time. _Humans_, she thought. _They're so useless._

The green forest around them gave way to a clearing. Several stone blocks were raised, all with some words – about a hundred per block and three hundred for the large one, unless Blanche missed her guess, which rarely happened – printed on the top. Blanche briefly counted them. Fourteen.

Strolling ten metres away from the useless humans, Blanche peered at the stones. She hadn't seen them before. In fact, she was reasonably sure this was the wrong place on the island, but thirteen of the fourteen blocks were related. On each, the name of a past Neopets staff member were printed in big letters, followed by a short goodbye. For example, Paper Dragon's read "Burn, baby, burn."

This was all except the last block – Donna's. As the winner, she had lived, and accordingly didn't have a farewell message, but the result: "You have chosen... and the winner is Pop Tart!"

Blanche turned her attention to the large stone block, and soon realised it was about Pango. Much to her dismay, however, it was in the written language of the Cocos – one she couldn't understand. She knew Jess wouldn't – Blanche, with all her accumulated knowledge, would definitely know the Cocos' language if Jess did.

She turned around to realise that Jess and Steve had been waiting for her.

"You took your time," Jess told the Faerie Uni. Blanche looked at her.

"Avid historian, you said," Blanche reminded her owner.

Jess held up a hand and, with the other, gestured to a cave to her right – and Blanche's left. "What about a nice explore in the muddy cave, eh?"

She didn't wait for Blanche's response, going right into it and Steve following. A resigned Blanche stepped through the cave's mouth as well...


	6. The Helmets

Jess looked uncertainly at the two identical dentists' chairs and wire helmet combinations. "Do Cocos really use dentists' chairs?" she asked Steve.

Steve ignored her. "Jess Smith," he said loudly, "I would like you to meet my dear friend: Bob."

He gestured grandly at a Blue Kacheek standing behind him – Bob.

"Yo, dude," he greeted her. Steve coughed. "Dudette," Bob corrected himself.

"Hi," Jess smiled at the Kacheek. "This is a rather unusual place to learn about Sacrificers, don't you think, Steve?" Her words sounded suspicious but the manner in which she said them, and the manner in which she stood, and her manner in general made her seem rather gullible.

"Jess Smith," Steve repeated. "What do you think will happen to you when you die?"

"I hope I have eighty years to think about it," Jess told him. "This isn't another of your -"

"Why wait eighty years?" Steve asked her. "Why not know now?"

"Because I don't want to die right now," Jess informed him. "Now, this _isn't _your let's-make-Jess-religious arguments, is it?"

Steve smiled. "I told you you should meet my god."

"And how will a wire-covered helmet and a dentists' chair achieve that, exactly?" Jess asked.

"Why not see?" Steve grinned. "It won't harm you." Eh, well, that was technically true.

Jess hesitated. "I'd rather not, but thank you for the offer all the same."

"Your Uni, then," Steve said levelly. "She wouldn't come to any harm, either."

"What about Bob?" Jess suggested.

"Yo, dudette, you need my permission to do that, yo," Bob called out. Jess rolled her eyes.

"Fine!" she said loudly. "I'll talk to your stupid god. How about that?"

Steve smiled and before long, Jess was sitting comfortably on the chair, with a helmet of wires over her head. Jess watched Steve as he pulled a red lever.

Jess sat in the chair patiently, willing something to happen. Nothing did, except for the pretty blue lights that came out of nowhere and started circling the room. "Your god isn't very talkative," she commented.

"Why isn't it working?" Steve asked furiously.

"Maybe he's like all the others," Jess suggested. "Not real. Devised as an explanation to rather easily explained things like why we have day and night, or the seasons. Things like that."

Steve glared at the girl. "It must work," he declared adamantly.

"Look, _saying_ it will work doesn't get you anywhere, you know -"

"Silence!" Steve yelled. "You are not accepting contact."

"_Not accepting contact?_" Jess asked in disbelief. "How am I supposed to accept contact? Open my mind?"

"Well... yes!"

Jess laughed. "I've never gone in for faith," she told the teenager. "Or, as it happens, lowering my guard."

It was then that Jess took a casual glance at her arms and noticed that they were bound to the chair by metal restraints.

"I don't believe it!" she declared. "I lowered my guard!"

Blanche felt it was about time she let her presence be known. "What," she demanded to Steve, "do you plan to do with her?"

"She is a reject," Steve announced. "That must be the reason."

Blanche rolled her eyes. "That wasn't the question, you know."

"Pango believes this girl will hinder our efforts," Steve declared ominously.

"So let me go," Jess suggested quite reasonably.

"She will hinder our efforts," Steve repeated, "in such a way that I am left with no choice."

"Of course you have a choice!" Jess insisted from under the helmet of wires.

"I don't," Steve insisted. "You must die."

"That's the third time this morning!" Jess groaned. "I'm starting to think everyone hates me! I'm really hating that Pango Pango dude now..."

"Pango _Pango_?" Steve demanded angrily.

"Yes, Pango Pango," Jess rolled her eyes.

"Such a name is forbidden!" Steve declared. "It is used only by ignorants who do not understand our cause!"

"Maybe that's why they're called ignorants," Jess suggested helpfully.

"_Be quiet!_" Steve shouted. "Maybe I do have a choice, after all..."

"Glad you see it," Jess sighed. "_Now_ will you let me go?"

In response, Steve pushed a lever on the panel back up. The restraints slid away. "You may go," Steve told her.

Jess grinned. "Excellent," she stated. "Always knew you'd find a way. Come on, Blanche."

Jess strode towards the gaping hole in the wall confidently, pausing only when she noticed Blanche wasn't following her. She turned around, noticing that Steve was quite firmly holding her back with two arms around her neck.

"Now, come on." Jess put a hand on her hip. "Blanche wasn't a reject, as far as I remember."

"We said you could go," Steve hissed, "we did not mention your Uni."

Blanche stomped around a bit and flapped her wings ineffectually. "Let me go," she said quietly – but perfectly clearly.

"But you will serve a purpose, my dear," Steve said smugly.

"I won't serve any purpose I don't want to," Blanche declared adamantly.

"Admirable certainty, madam – if wrongly placed. You _will_ serve the purpose."

"What purpose?" Jess demanded.

"You'll find out when the time comes," Steve smiled at the twelve-year-old condescendingly. "Now go. You might find yourself unnecessarily distressed."

Jess stared at Blanche's pleading eyes, Steve's angry, defiant ones and Bob's entirely, eternally confused ones.

"Sorry, Blanche," Jess whispered. "I'll save you. I will. I just don't know how yet." On that note, she fled.

Blanche swallowed her rage. _Jess had a plan,_ she reasoned. _Jess never did anything important without a plan._

_Well, yes, actually,_ another part of Blanche's mind contributed, _she did._

Blanche hoped that wasn't the case this time.

* * *

Before Jess even exited the cave she felt guilty. She didn't have a plan, of course – how unfortunately common it seemed when dealing with matters of life and death! - and her main idea was to find someone who _wasn't_ a fervent believer in Pango and persuade them to help her.

Not a very good plan, I know.

Her entire plan changed when Jess's attention was stolen by a large monolith next to the cave mouth. Ignoring the semi-circle of smaller monoliths that surrounded the large, undoubtedly main one, she strode right up to the main one and peered at the words Blanche hadn't made heads or tails of.

Jess made head _and_ tails of it.

"The gods," Jess read out. "Mumbo Pango and Pango Pango." She then read the subtitle. "And their relation to Coco history."

Jess was immediately intrigued. She hadn't realised, being an ignorant and all, that there were _two_ Island gods. And besides that, Coco history wasn't heavily popularised.

"Coco technology reached its zenith eighteen thousand years ago," Jess read aloud, figuring there was no one there to complain. "Two thousand years before, there were two main, very different, tribes of Coco – the Pango tribe, which got its power through intelligence, and the Mumbo tribe, which got its through military strength.

"The leaders of the two tribes, psychic of course, predicted the sudden collapse of everything. They withdrew from existence into another dimension, from which they governed a newly combined civilisation.

"For a while, it was all good. The Cocos benefited from both intelligence and military superiority, and the minor Coco tribes – such as the Dangen and the Handra – were wiped out. From 20,000BN to 18,000BN, Mumbo and Pango slowly changed from leaders to gods.

"From 18,500BN to 18,000BN, Mumbo slowly began to think that Pango was dominating rule of the Cocos. Mumbo used his status as military ruler to turn the armies of Mystery Island on the civilisation. Pango did his best to protect the population, but the number of Cocos was halved."

Jess paused as she reached this moment in Coco history. If Kayandri wanted her to assist the Cocos escape Mumbo's massacre, he was a little off with the timing – eighteen thousand years off, in fact. There must be something else.

"The Cocos that lived never forgot their god's treachery. As such, the words Mumbo and Pango stopped being a reference to their old tribes and their skills, and instead they meant "Evil" and "Good". The gods themselves were renamed Mumbo Pango and Pango Pango – the latter Pango not meaning "Good", but "God".

"At around 17,500BN, it is believed a Cult of Mumbo started. Sufficiently after the events that caused Mumbo's disgrace, the Cult of Mumbo made contact with Mumbo and told the disgraced leader that they believed the massacre a plot of a power-crazed Pango. It is believed this Cult thrived for fifteen thousand years, though there is no mention of them, except in historical references, after 1,000BN.

"It is written in some several-millennia-old Cult texts that Mumbo would one day return to Mystery Island, bringing rewards to his loyal followers and ultimate doom to those who would not submit."

Jess frowned and glared at the stone. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," she muttered. "That does not sound good at all. In fact," she added, "it sounds like precisely the sort of thing I'm supposed to be solving."

She sighed, guessing that Blanche would temporarily have to wait. Ultimate doom sounded a lot worse than the misery of one Uni – even if it was _her_ Uni.


	7. A Horrible Thought

There was one person Jess thought who could possibly help her.

"Jhuidah!" Jess yelled, running towards Jhuidah and a surprised female teenager at the Cooking Pot – it was, after all, well and truly morning by now.

Jhuidah remembered Pango's advice: _do not fight the evil_.

Sounded like ridiculous advice.

"Yes?" Jhuidah inquired patiently.

"I think I need your help," Jess told the Faerie.

"Like, _later,_" the teenager said. "In case you, like, didn't get it, the Faerie is totally _busy._"

Jess rolled her eyes at the obviously self-obsessed American. "This is important," Jess complained.

"Like, it's _so_ not as important as my Blooky!" the teenager insisted.

"Yes it is!" Jess yelled. "It involves the destruction of everything on this island – everything! _Including your Blooky, _and the Cooking Pot it was created in!"

"Whatever," the teenager said. "I was here first."

Jess stubbornly stood her ground. "When faced with ultimate destruction, sane people do not say 'whatever'!"

"Whatever," the teenager repeated.

Jhuidah, keen to defuse the situation, said, "Lynne, your Blooky's finished already."

Lynne smiled and took a three-eyed blue thing that in every other way resembled an Angelpuss out of the pot. "See how it pays to be patient?" she asked Jess smugly before strolling away, strange petpet in her arms.

"So," Jhuidah said. "What is it?"

Jess took a breath. "What do you know about Mumbo Pango?" she asked quietly.

Jhuidah seemed taken aback by the question. "I would have thought you'd know a lot by yourself," she stated.

Jess shook her head. "Not really," she admitted. "I read the monolith near a cave somewhere to the east, and that's about it..."

"Which monolith?" Jhuidah enquired. "What did it say?"

Jess related everything she remembered to the short Island Faerie, who nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe you are right," she suggested. "However, I haven't heard of this Cult you talked of."

Jess was a little disheartened by this. "Haven't you?" she asked desperately.

Jhuidah shook her head. "Why do you want to know?" she asked. "How will it help you?"

"I've just got a feeling," Jess told the Faerie. "There's something I have to prevent, right? And I just think that thing I have to prevent is..." Jess's voice trailed off – almost absent-mindedly, as if she continued the sentence in her head but forgot to put them to her lips.

"The resurrection of Mumbo Pango?" Jhuidah suggested helpfully. "I can take you to the Island Mystic, if you like. I cannot help, but he... he, maybe..."

Jess smiled. "I do know the way," Jess reminded her. "I've been travelling to this planet for nearly three years."

"It is not that," Jhuidah smiled. "If he knows about this Cult of Mumbo, and if it is as powerful as you say, he would not be offering information to those he knows nothing about."

"So you're going to convince him to let me help," Jess deduced aloud.

"Yes," Jhuidah agreed. "It is the least I can do."

"Excellent," Jess smiled. "Now, put an away sign in front of your pot and let's go."

* * *

If the Island Mystic had been startled by his counterpart Faerie and a seemingly very self-assured pre-teenager bound into his hut and ask for information regarding the Cult of Mumbo, it had been nothing compared to his shock when the self-assured pre-teenager was able to briefly scan the language of the Ancient Cocos. Even he couldn't read the Ancient Cocos' language that fast – it should have taken more than a little concentration...

Jess analysed various scrolls while she drank a cup of tea. It would have suited the mood more if it were night, she thought, but it was barely nine in the morning. Her search had been centred mainly on previous attempts to resurrect Mumbo Pango, if there had been any – which she soon found there hadn't.

"Odd," she had murmured at the time. "That Mumbo would wait until a specific time..."

The Island Mystic, having been in the front region of the hut giving fortunes to hopeful avatar-earners and fervent horoscope-believers, had been mostly unaware of Jess's historical research, contenting himself with the knowledge that she was breezing through paragraphs he himself had not translated – which isn't a very easy thing to content yourself with, when you think about it.

It was well after one in the afternoon – and well after a lunatic avatar-collector ran into her part of the hut she was borrowing to demand the Island Mystic's avatar – when Jess finally stumbled across something important. Or, at least, something she thought was important.

It was made in 12,000BN, or so the scroll said, during what previous scrolls had described as the heyday of the Cult – when it was running rampage and terrifying hundreds of hapless law-abiding Cocos. It was made according to Mumbo's instruction, the paper assuring Jess that every nut and every slab of metal had been laid to the precise millimetre Mumbo desired.

It was a device – again helmet-shaped – that would recall Mumbo to Mystery Island. Jess gathered the scroll was designed for Cult eyes only, since it detailed exactly how it intended to achieve that.

Being a helmet, the device was apparently intended to fit over someone's head. 'Why?' was the question. The scroll read that it would not recall Mumbo to reality directly – it would instead bring him back through an intermediary, another, by way of _destroying their mind_ and letting Mumbo inhabit their body. Every memory gone, every trace of mind abandoned – replaced instead by Mumbo's.

The only good news seemed that Mumbo would be reduced to the powers of that particular poor soul – god he may be, but as the inhabitant of another's body it would be rather like transplanting the mind of a Cybunny into a Graarl and then calling the Graarl a Cybunny. Rather gruesome, yes, but it served as a suitable analogy.

But Blanche! Blanche was a Faerie! A Faerie Uni, yes, but a Faerie nonetheless – she had powers she herself had wisely chosen not to use, but with her mind destroyed – admittedly a horrible thought left at that, but that would be foolish – and Mumbo in control!

All right, so Blanche wasn't an especially powerful Faerie – just your average, bog-standard sort of Faerie, much like Fuhnah, Psellia, Maelstra, Iyana and hell, even Jhudora – but she was a Faerie nonetheless. Fyora had as much dominion over her as she did over Illusen, Taelia and other Faeries of other worlds. Imagine what Mumbo could do with that sort of connection!

Jess took a breath as she realised her thoughts were getting out of hand. This was really no worse than that misadventure with Sloth's android – for a start, she'd been mucking around in time that time. This time, she had the power of the bracelet.

The bracelet. The previously despised bracelet. The one Jess had even forgotten about before trying to calm herself down.

Then another thought crossed her mind – why was she trying to calm down? Her youngest pet, her smartest pet, her most powerful pet, the pet who argued with her about what they should do most frequently was about to be destroyed forever, her body in use by an insane, evil Coco god!

* * *

Steve and Bob – mostly Steve, of course – had a large cowl and were busily making final adjustments to the 12,000 year old piece of technology. Looking at it, you'd laugh once you remembered the stage the Cocos had regressed to by the day!

"Yo, dude, is it done yet?" Bob frowned as he held a large hammer to his head.

Steve sighed. "I suppose. Yes, yes..." After a brief examination, he turned to Bob. "Summon the Cult of Mumbo, Bob. His return must be triumphant!"

Bob continued his stunned frown. "How do I know who's in the Cult again?"

Steve pointed exasperatedly at a piece of paper lying on a nearby dusty table. "Everyone on that list," he explained.

Bob counted. "There are only seventeen people," he told Steve, as if this were a reason why he shouldn't summon them – but it was, in fact, an idle comment.

"_Yes_, Bob," Steve rolled his eyes. "Now summon them!" As Bob stepped over the threshold of the room with the long corridor outside, he added, "_with the phone!_"


	8. Destroy the Cave!

Jess had been just about riled enough to storm into the cave and demand to just about everyone she saw the whereabouts of her pet, but some last remnants of common sense had told her to be patient and hide in the ubiquitous forestry that surrounded it. It had paid off, or so she thought: she counted twelve separate people going inside wearing a Tiki Tack floral red shirt and a red grass skirt.

As for the next, a Techo, he was soon topless, skirtless and unconscious, as Jess stole the items of clothing from them and put them on herself, then deciding it was safe enough to enter the cave.

* * *

Blanche had no idea what was going on. She saw seventeen strangely red-clad Neopians – a mix of humans, pets and Cocos – gathered about a red platform, upon which a funny-looking helmet rested. They made a path for her as she approached the door.

Steve, behind her, nudged her forward. "Go on, little lady," he prodded her. "It'll be all right."

As far as Jess, concealed amongst the seventeen red-clad Neopians was concerned, truer words had been spoken by a computer programmed to always lie.

"What's happening?" Blanche hissed at Steve. "Why are you – why are you wearing a grass skirt?"

"Just keep moving," Steve hissed back.

The path to the platform was not long, and Blanche reached it in but a few seconds.

Jess wormed her way to the front of the crowd, doing her best to avoid being seen.

"Friends," Steve smiled, standing on the platform, next to the helmet, holding a piece of paper that looked suspiciously like a speech. "Thank you for coming to this momentous occasion in our history. Our efforts have not been for nothing after all. The trials we have suffered are not in vain. Today, we shall win."

Steve went on to explain about what Jess had already deduced: Mumbo's return to Neopia, bla bla bla, Mumbo's fabulous rewards, bla bla bla, powers of a Faerie, bla bla bla...

Jess sprang into action as Steve finished and as there was applause. "Come on, Blanche!" she yelled, the proceeding to grab the Uni as best she could and nearly throw her along.

A startled Blanche recovered quickly nonetheless, and ran fast.

The Cult members were too preoccupied to chase after Jess and Blanche, and as such they made it to the outside, where they saw Jhuidah and the Island Mystic.

"We naturally assumed that you were headed here," the Mystic told Jess.

"You must blow that place up," Jess insisted. "In there... they want to bring Mumbo Pango to reality!"

Jhuidah took a nervous gulp. "We don't have any explosives," she said weakly. It took three glares for her to continue, "but I can blow it up."

"Excellent," Jess grinned. "Now, Jhuidah... now!"

"Is it necessary?" Jhuidah queried nervously. "Must _everyone_ in there die?"

Jess sighed. "I'm very sorry, Jhuidah, but if any one of them lives, the will only try again. It could be catastrophe for the whole island."

Jhuidah sighed nervously. "Very well," she agreed. "You would be well advised to run."

Jess, Blanche and the Island Mystic fled for their lives, making it quite a way further inland before seeing the cave go up in a small amount of smoke.

Jess smiled, relieved, as the Island Faerie came a few minutes later, breathing heavily.

"Good job, Jhuidah!" Jess grinned, shaking the Faerie's left hand.

"But I -"

"Yes, thank you," Blanche agreed, smiling also.

Jess glanced briefly at her bracelet, and saw it change from red to yellow – having missed the transition from silver to red altogether.

"Must dash, Jhuidah," Jess said suddenly, taking Blanche's hoof. "Thank you, too, Mystic, for letting me use your huuuu..."

As the Island's Faerie and Mystic stared, the curious combination just disappeared into thin air.

"I couldn't tell them!" Jhuidah moaned.

"What couldn't you tell them, my dear?" the Island Mystic took the Faerie's hands in his paws.

"I didn't destroy the cave," Jhuidah explained. "Before I could, it just collapsed! A lot of dirt went upwards, and I ran..."

"Hm," the Mystic pondered. "Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear."

"I know," Jhuidah whimpered.

The Mystic consoled the Faerie as they strolled away, with the intention of heading to their huts.

* * *

Steve gasped for breath as the shock of what had just happened hit him. Bob... was no longer Bob.

The Blue Kacheek now sported a large helmet. He smirked at the breathless teenager.

"You have served me well, Steve," he remarked, a cruel smile playing at his face. "However, you have failed me."

"It wasn't intentional... Bob... um, Mumbo..."

"I could have returned to power with contact to the mind of Queen Fyora herself," Mumbo remarked bitterly. "Instead, I make my return as this – a puny thick Kacheek! His body is useless!"

"But you can become strong, Mumbo!" Steve suggested hopefully.

"I could have been strong already," Mumbo informed the teenager. "You will die for your failure."

"No... no, please..." Steve screamed loudly as he fell to his knees and died.

"And now, my faithful fourteen! You will do my bidding."

The crowd of Cocos, pets and humans glanced at each other anxiously and nodded.

"And there will be no insubordination," Mumbo informed them. "You will all die, in time. But not before you have made yourselves useful."

"Ye – yes, Mumbo," a terrified Red Nimmo said. "We will be useful."

"Indeed," Mumbo laughed.

"With all due respect," a stupidly courageous Yellow Poogle ventured, "that helmet was supposed to make you as powerful as the body you inhabit. How did you kill Steve?"

"Before his untimely death," the Kacheek explained, "I got him to make one or two... adjustments."

"Then why were you so upset with him?" the Poogle pressed. "It did not matter."

"Of course it matters!" Mumbo yelled. "With a link to Fyora, I could have come back as King of Faerieland. I would have had the Faeries as my army, ready to do my bidding – as they would have no choice."

"But you would have had us, Mumbo," the Poogle protested. "We would not have betrayed you."

The Kacheek glared dangerously at the question-asker. "I think I have one too many followers," he declared. Suddenly, the Poogle crumpled onto the floor.

"Can't – breathe -" he moaned. He then cried out loud as he died.

Mumbo stared impassively at the death. "Come now, my loyal thirteen," he coaxed. "There is work to be done."

**THE END.**


End file.
